More Bravo than Bravo
by PPP SSC
Summary: When Pom Pom comes to town, Johnny Bravo gets totally jealous. That wannabe! Homestar Runner Johnny Bravo crossover. Rated PG to be safe.


More Bravo than Bravo

Rated PG for slight sex references

a story by me

It was just another day. Johnny decided that he should go try to woo a hot girl. He looked her in the eyes and said, "Hey there pretty mama! I wanna show you some of my moves" and then he (badly) showed some martial arts moves. The girl was unimpressed and kicked Johnny in the butt.

"Yeah whatever…" Johnny said. He went home and his Mama was making some Rice Krispie Treats. "But Mama" Johnny whined, "I don't want Rice Krispies! I want Cocoa Puffs."

"Too bad, Johnny. We're all out of Cocoa Puffs," Bunny Bravo said.

"Man, I'm STILL gorgeous!" Johnny said vainly. He looked out the window and saw his geeky friend Carl playing badminton with Susie. "Hey guys! What are you doing? Wasting time playing birdie tennis? I'm doing something much more productive. Looking at my beautiful self."

An angry string of bubbles came from behind Carl ("What a vain wannabe"). "Oh Johnny, I guess we forgot to tell you," Carl said, "This is Pom Pom. He's a foreign exchange student from somewhere. After we're done playing badminton, Pom Pom's going to help me with my science fair project because he's smart."

"And I'm not?" Johnny asked clueless.

"Well, let's just put it this way," Susie began. "You're ummm…"

Pom Pom bubbled nervously but hastily ("As smart as my best friend!").

Johnny asked, "Umm, what did he say?"

Carl said "He said you were as smart as his best friend."

"Thank you," Johnny said, mistaking this for a compliment, understandably.

Pom Pom really wished he hadn't said that. He had just helped insult a total stranger. And worse yet… it wasn't even a clear insult! Back-handed compliments were the worst kind!

Pom Pom sighed, knowing his perfection was askew. He bounced away sadly. Carl asked concerned but not too to make jokes, "What's weighing him down?" Susie and Carl both laughed.

_Good, he's depressed, _Johnny thought… or at least he thought he thought… I'm confused. _Now I'll be Mr. Perfection again._

Pom Pom thought as he bounced along, _why am I depressed? Depressed people never win anything! If I'm going to redeem my rep, I've gotta have a positive attitude! Otherwise I may gain weight and become a lazy bum who can't even protect himself! That's a nightmarish thought. _Pom Pom stopped being depressed obviously slighting one of his acquaintances in his head. He bounced back to Johnny's backyard.

Pom Pom bubbled apologetically to Johnny ("Look Johnny. I'm sorry that I said you were as smart as my best friend. That was pretty rude considering I barely know you.") Johnny was clueless, but still jealous. Pom Pom had no idea Johnny was envious. People usually just admired his flawless character.

Pom Pom bounced along and met a pretty girl. ("Hi") he bubbled. "Hey there hot cheeks," she said back to him. She kissed him. He added her to his list of girlfriends after figuring out her name was Tiffany. ("All right") Pom Pom bubbled ("I have seven girlfriends to a pound now! Seven is a lucky number! I'm the luckiest guy in the universe!"). Pom Pom was very grateful. Johnny however was not.

Johnny said, "He stole my fame! He stole my friends! And he stole my ladies! Now I'm going to steal his life!"

Bunny said, "Johnny! You never threaten to kill somebody! Even if they did steal your fame which you never had, your friends which you never treated very nicely, and your ladies that never liked you."

Johnny said, "I'm sorry Mama, but that guy has got to go! He's gorgeous, like me. He's a babe magnet! There's only room for one babe magnet and that's me!"

Bunny explained, "But Johnny he helped me pay my Social Security. What a generous, philanthropic boy he is."

Johnny said, "Ooh… fill throat-py!" misinterpreting the word "philanthropic", and with his well established love for adjectives ending in "y".

Johnny was still angry. He decided since Pom Pom's body was so much like a big balloon, he should be able to very easily pop him, right?

Wrong. If it didn't work for Strong Bad, why would it work for Johnny Bravo? Unfortunately, Johnny Bravo had never been to thus not have seen Strong Bad Email #108. He decided to pop Pom Pom outside where he was practicing his tae kwon do routine (well). Johnny Bravo didn't know this meant something.

Johnny Bravo picked up the pin and Pom Pom looked at him alarmed. When Strong Bad did it, Pom Pom knew him already. But Johnny? Was he still mad about the back-handed compliment? No, that couldn't be it. He wasn't mad before and Pom Pom already apologized.

Pom Pom hated to unleash his black belt TKD moves on a stranger but he did so anyway. After all, the scariest murderers are the ones unidentified. But at least he knew Johnny's name. Johnny said, "I am the master of martial arts."

Johnny didn't need martial arts! He was being on the offensive side! He didn't have them either. Pom Pom did. Pom Pom kicked Bravo's butt.

Pom Pom bubbled ("_I_ am the master of martial arts. Including sumo wrestling. But I'm not qualified for that.").

Johnny finally learned the language of the Pom. "You aren't?" he asked. "Why?"

("Because") Pom Pom explained in bubbles, ("I only weigh 1/75 of the required weight").

"Wow those are some pretty cool moves for a lightweight," Johnny admitted.

("I'm sorry I beat you up") Pom Pom apologized (Dude, do I have to say it every time he speaks?). ("But you know you just don't try to kill people arbitrarily.")

"I was jealous of you," Johnny admitted. "You're flawless."

Pom Pom blushed. A self-centered oblivious man just gave him the all time best compliment. ("Aw… shucks… I have some flaws") Pom Pom said humbly.

"Name one," said Johnny.

("Umm… well I… uhh… well there's…") Pom Pom tried to answer the challenge given to him by Johnny from his own modesty.

He thought it through; _Unintelligent? No way! My IQ is obviously contradictory of that. Unpopular? Who's gonna believe that? Weak? I just kicked Bravo's butt. Depressing? That's not my style. Unattractive? I have many girlfriends. I know! I'm not a true lover! No, I truly love all of my girlfriends, and that's why I can't pick just one. Disloyal? Well no, loyalty may be my strongest quality. Mean or vain? I try not to be mean, and I might be vain right now. Dirty? Well having many girlfriends may make it seem like that but I'm virgin even. I don't swear either. Umm… I don't like kids? Who am I kidding? I'm thinking maybe marriage once I decide which girlfriend I love the most and stop being virgin and you know have an adorable little Pom baby. Arggh! Can't… think… of… flaw!_

He said, ("My flaw is I can't think of a flaw. Oh shoot! I thought of a flaw. So it doesn't apply anymore. But now it does! But now it doesn't. But… paradox! My flaw is the first flaw I thought of was a paradox!")

Johnny said, "Of course it is, Pom Pom. Let's go to Pop's and have some milkshakes."

So Johnny and Pom Pom made friends and went to Pop's to drink milkshakes and Johnny never bothered Pom Pom's basking in perfection again.

A/N: I decided to write this on a night when I watched Scooby Doo Goes Hollywood and it refreshed my memory on Johnny Bravo. He IS a wannabe Pom, don't you think so?

No I don't own Johnny Bravo or Pom Pom. No one can OWN Pom Pom! But I guess the brothers Chaps make it seem like they do since they invented him.

When I was writing "Pop's" at the end, I kept accidentally writing "Pom" because I was so used to that in the story.

Tae kwon do! I don't know it and I'm certainly not a black belt. Then again, I'm not Pom Pom either.

P.S. Johnny Bravo sucks as a person. No one wants a Pom wannabe.


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